So close yet so far

I am SO disappointed to have it slip out of my grasp. Someone once said, second is first loser. Well perhaps that is not entirely true, but third is definitely the pits especially if only the first and second get prizes. Despite what people may say about the importance of participation and finishing races, the mentality is very different when one is after a win. Either get a good placing or do a good time. Otherwise don't bust a gut. Might not be in the spirit of noble sportmanship but thats cold hard reality.

Consider this scenario, a hilly race of over 4 miles (6.5km or so). Not a huge race with hundreds of people. Just a good sized local race. Quite a strong wind blowing on the morning but sunny. Did the usual warmup and got ready for the start. Looked around and tried to identify a few people who might be faster than me. Not many of them here today.

The rush at the start, made even quicker by the sharp downhill just after the start. Gradually overtaking people who have started way too quick. Found myself at the head of the race with one other person. 1st mile in 5:40 (around 3:32/km), very fast but partly due to the downhill. Feeling ok. Went over the next few undulations without too much trouble, swapping turns at the front. Haven't been in the lead of a race since school days.

Felt a bit harder after the 2nd mile. The second half of the route is a lot harder than the first. Opponent put in a bit of a surge on a hill. Tried to counter. Couldn't really get back on. Tried holding the gap constant. Went through 3rd mile in 18:01 (average 3:45/km), breathing hard. Started having second thoughts about starting quickly, in contrast to my normal race plan. But hey, sometimes its worth doing it differently. Take a punt.

The final mile and a bit more was sheer torture. Hard to get the legs even to move. Attempts to gulp down more air only made my throat hurt. Gap to the leader opening up. Why do I put myself through this? Someone comes past just before the final hill. Hung on for grim death and closed the gap slightly on the hill. Trying to extract further speed appeared to be futile. My mind is not strong enough to overcome the discomfort...

Over the brow of the hill with the finishing straight. A mild downhill section where you can see all the way to the finish. Concentrate on arm action. Go faster to catch person in front. Leader of the race just crossing the finish line ahead. Why can't I go any faster? I want to close the gap. Sprint? Do I want the finish line to come quickly to stop the suffering or do I want it further away to give me more time to catch the runner in front? Conflicting thoughts. Finally got to the finish. About time too, or maybe too soon?

Do I sit or stand? Should I lie down on the grass? Trying to catch my breath. Somehow manage to shake the hands of the winner and runner up. Didn't stop my watch at all. Recover from exertions. Only myself to blame for starting too quick. Should have run it at a more even pace. Should haves and could haves. Too many possibilities. All gone. My chance is gone. Gamble hasn't paid off and the bookie has run off with all my money.

Short and sweet prize giving ceremony without me. Take group photo of runners from club (we are again the club with the most runners at the race, many in the top 10). Have a quick drink at the old country pub which is the event HQ. Go home and sulk about my failure. Got a warning that I wouldn't be allowed to go racing if I kept my unhappy face on. :)

Location 53°N 1°W